Fern Footer
Bigfoot has always been on my brain.
I woke up in the middle of the night terrified of an, I suppose, irrational fear.
October 4th 2013 DuBois, PA
Bigfoot.
Fern Footer circa 1996
I have always been intrigued by the guy even before I knew it was a thing. While on a hike with my family as a 9 year old, my grandfather and I conceptualized a mythical creature named 'Fern Footer'. Neither one of us wanted to be out there hiking that day, and we passed the time by flexing our imaginations. Now later in life knowing that many regional names for Bigfoot exist, it seems we may have just created a new name for the big guy. He is forever memorialized as a father, or grandfather, and a child peering around a tree in a sketch that my grandfather drew for me as a birthday present. My tenth birthday in fact, the last one my grandpa was alive for. It is such a treasured possession of mine, one I definitely could not have taken on my van-life adventure that I did the next best thing. I had my tattoo artist and friend, Eerie Eric, put it permanently on my right leg.
I used to watch VHS tapes a lot as a youngin’, not a lot of VHS tapes though. I would watch the same 2 or 3 over and over. One I must've wore out the film on was Swamp Thing. Swamp Thing was slightly different as he was a genetic experiment gone wrong, but he is quite similar to the Fern Footer or Bigfoot.
Fern Footer Tattoo by Eerie Eric
So Bigfoot has always been on my brain. Maybe watching Swamp Thing on repeat everyday as a young impressionable child instilled me with wonder and belief. Essentially consigning me to always think about this like a deeply carved rut in my brain.
Anyway it happened, I am enthralled by the concept of a large bipedal creature wandering around us in the shadows and under the cover of darkness. In the case of the Fern Footer I helped create, he is a happy guy in the woods. As is the case with Patty, the bigfoot filmed in October of 1966 by Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin. It seems that may not always be the case though.
Sassy and I in Illinois
Most my life it had been a novelty to me. A fun idea to think about and joke with. What makes it especially easy to cut up about are the 'researchers' that are out there. A few years ago though I started listening to a popular podcast that focuses more on eyewitnesses than the supposed researchers. Some of these eyewitnesses can be questionable, but many come across as honest people who have seen or had experiences that they can't explain. The worst part though? Many of these people don't describe a happy guy peeking out from behind a tree giving a thumbs up to anyone aware enough to spot him. They describe a vicious evil entity. A predator that doesn't like when they find people have invaded their territory. The host of the show has a few words for people who wish to have an encounter someday... 'Be careful what you wish for.'
I have never seen or heard or experienced anything questionable while out in the woods... Except for that one night I indulged in too much edible marijuana in northern Illinois, but that's a separate story and I would hardly consider myself reliable, or even responsible, that night.
It seems completely implausible that these things are actually out there, but here I am, typing away on the topic. If I had to stake money on it I’m not sure how much I’d be comfortable with throwing down on it, BUT I cannot explain the eyewitnesses!! If it weren't for the ones I've heard I would probably still consider this a fun novelty, a holdover from my childhood. I would describe my stance on the topic as guarded believer. I’m not sure that is a good descriptor, but it’s what popped into my head and I’m just going to roll with it. I truly do not know if these things are out there, but from the stories I have heard, I pray to God that they are not. In fact, if the stories I have heard are true, God either doesn’t exist, or he is not on our team.
The Great American Eclipse Part Three
I might have been crying, but with all that rain I'd never have to admit it anyway.
I headed north out of Kentucky directly into the Shawnee National Forest in Illinois. It was another late night of pushing through the darkness to reach my destination. I found my way and parked by the Garden of the Gods in anticipation of an early morning tour of the rock formations. As it was a short hike, I brought my pups along for the photo shoot. The garden was amazing, people pet the dogs and I shot the rocks. As I framed up one particular photo I noticed people were in the shot. I put the camera down to wait for the couple to move. Then it dawned on me that I should take the photo and offer it to the couple. They seemed very cautious of me, as can be expected, and it took the guy a few months before he emailed me about sending him the picture. I thought some about the timing of his email request for the photo. I wonder if he forgot about the weirdo guy that approached him saying he took a picture of him and his girlfriend, and only sent the email when he remembered. Or possibly it was coming up to an anniversary and he called this in as part of a surprise for her. I also tossed the idea around that they were going through a rough patch, and he was desperately searching for anything to show his love to her. I've never cared enough to ask him. I guess it’s like Schrödinger's cat, as long as I never ask it can be any, and all, of those possibilities at once. It's far more interesting that it exists in my mind as a question, rather than it having a definite answer.
Sassy ‘n I
Who’s that?
When I left the Garden of the Gods I met Sassy the Bigfoot and took my picture with her. Then as I headed through Herod, IL I spotted a very bizarre ruin and I knew I would regret it if I didn't turn around and check it out. It appeared to be a house built into/against the side of a rock. Next to the chimney I found a very large undercut beneath the enormous rock roomy enough for a picnic table to be dwarfed. I stopped at the same time as a Harley Davidson husband and wife. They were from northern Illinois but like me, made the trip down for the eclipse. They gave me pointers on where to find a good laundromat and stock up on a few supplies. A middle aged lady stopped in awe of the ruins and again an eclipse conversation was struck. It was very unique in that you didn't have to ask 'Did you see the eclipse?' It was a known in that area at that time. She opened with 'Have you seen any of the news footage of the eclipse?' Even though I hadn't, I answered that I had as to not shut down eclipse talk before it had a chance to start. She said 'The color of the corona looked more white on the news than in person right?' I did notice the yellowish quality of the corona so I made a safe assumption and explained white balance on cameras to her. Still to this day I have not been able to find any info on line about those ruins. I like that there are some things the internet doesn't know and visiting local museums might still hold a useful place our technological world.
AllTrails did not disclose all important facts.
A well I found and did not dive into!
This is, of course, official history…
At this point I had taken a couple days off of running and I went to the AllTrails app to find an Illinois trail to run... This is going to be a slight rant about AllTrails. It's useful but it does not give you the entire story. What I found on AllTrails that day was a 7 mile loop trail. That's what I went into the woods expecting. What I was actually running on was a series of interconnected horse trails. I've heard of others having a similar issue with the app. I still use it, it's a good tool, but it's not an on line trail bible. Back to the point, Minnie and I hit the trail for a leg stretching. We found a couple interesting landmarks, and as I was running the trail counterclockwise I took every left... I crossed a road... I shouldn't cross any roads on this route, but onward I went. After a bit I came to a parking lot where I found a wood carved trail directory. I deciphered it the best I could and went the direction I felt I should go... And after a bit of running found myself back at this parking lot... Okay, let's try door 2... Back at the same parking lot! It was right at this time that I realized it was starting to get dark so I thought I need to quit guessing and find the right way back. I do remember processing the thought that it seems weird that it's getting dark at 1 PM but I put that on the back burner in favor of finding Ruby.
I found a full trail map in the parking lot and thought I was saved, but not knowing the area too well I was still unsure of which way to go. Two ladies in their late 40s had just finished up loading their horses into the trailer and so I asked them for a little help. One helped me read the map as the other gave some water to Minnie. I will add here that even though I got lost one more time after these nice ladies helped me, I believe it was my own fault and not because of the direction I received. So Minnie and I said thank you and took off. As I have just mentioned I ended up at this parking lot one more time. #$-#&##+$(!!! By this time I had processed in my head that there was a rain storm rolling in and it was not nightfall coming early that day. With this in mind I decided I would take the road straight north and turn east at the end and I would for sure find my vehicle. A couple minutes up the road I found that first road crossing that had confused me! I had finally found my trail! I quickly debated taking the safe choice of the road back, but felt my pride would benefit from taking the trail I followed in, back out.
I started to feel raindrops shortly after hitting the trail again. This was quickly followed my quite possibly the loudest boom of thunder I have ever heard in my life and sheets of rain! 9 miles into the run at this point Minnie had been starting to slow down and fall behind. I began yelling my loudest at her to COME ON! HURRY UP!!! GO!!!! I could barely hear myself over the storm, but they say dogs have good hearing. GO! GO!!! I slipped a time or 2 and tripped a few, but in my memory adrenaline and fear had me back up and running before I even hit the ground. MINNIE!! GOOOOO!!! I remember thinking that I know plenty about the weather in Western NY... But we are not in Western NY... Is this a tornado? The ladies didn't warn me, is this normal? Would locals be laughing at me freaking out over this storm that to them is regular? Would they say 'What? You were out in that? ARE YOU CRAZY???' I felt like a fish out of water while soaking wet. When I came to the trail head and found Ruby sitting there waiting for me I felt such relief I could have cried. Hell, I might have been crying, but with all that rain I'd never have to admit it anyway. I slid the door open, Minnie and I soaking wet dove into the safety of little ol' Ruby, mud and all. I still get slightly nervous when I think of the end of that run. It definitely taught me to appreciate the weather while traveling, and to be more cautious.