When I arrived in Goethe I had already been bumming around central and west Florida for a few days. The day before and the morning of I had just finished up visiting an uncle that I had never really met since becoming a, or rather being considered an adult. It was an amazing visit and we share so much in common... Almost like we're related. All that basically means, watch out Goethe, I'm coming in hot!

Even though I'm still in Florida, it's the first time it started to feel a little less Floridy, if I can coin a term here. I drove in on a dirt road as opposed to the paved one GPS suggested. Dirt roads are long in Ruby Tue. She has a stiff suspension and a lot of ass. Taking this back way in led me past a boardwalk. I'll sometimes ignore these as they are mostly built for the 'round bellies' to quote a man I met in Lone Pine, CA. I stopped to see what this boardwalk rolled out the red carpet to. A giant fuckin tree! Not believing that Florida actually had giant fuckin trees I took the walk. I made the grueling walk in 5 or 6 minutes and there it was! The Goethe Giant! As I messed with my camera I heard a truck pull up. (You know it's a good hike when you can hear vehicles pulling into the parking lot)

In a few minutes Jeff came walking down the boardwalk ready to bust some ghosts. He said they blow the leaves off the boardwalk once a week, but I know a ghost-buster when I see one. I asked a few questions about the real trail head I was heading to when he let me in on a little secret. There's a natural spring fed pond a little off trail. He gave me verbal directions on how to find it and I committed it to memory. I wasn't convinced that I would find it, but hey, if Jeff says it's worth checking out, I better try. Hell, he's never liked to me before.

So here in the conversation I mentioned that I won't be getting back home until sometime in May, and that's when he said, 'I retire May 1st!' Congrats Jeff! He had been in the area most his life and been working for the state forest for 30 or so years. Good luck with your retirement Jeff.

I found my way to the black prong trail head and paid my couple bucks to the iron ranger. I went over the map a couple times and even looked at satellite images, but couldn't make out where Jeff's spring fed pond might be. Oh well, either I'll find it or I won't. Time to run!

The spring Jeff told me about. It was even more impressive in person.

Minnie and I took off! The trail we started on, as well as the rest of the trails we ran, were double track. Not surprising I guess as they are mainly used as horse trails. I found a turn off quite similar to Jeff's description about four tenths of a mile before Jeff said I'd find it. He said the detour I would take would be a quarter mile or so. I took the trail until it terminated into woods but saw nothing. I was about to start exploring through the woods when my attention was caught by a clearing to my right. Wow! Just wow. In the middle of swampy sandy Florida scrub sat the most magical, out of place pond I have ever seen. Minnie took a couple dips even as I urged her not to. First as an impulse of living in gator country for the past 5 months, and also as I did not want her to muddy up these beautiful waters. A few more moments of basking in this beauty before it was time to move.

We encountered an armadillo that Minnie chased off the trail. I had to holler and she finally gave up chase. I spent the next 10 minutes not being able to remember the name of these damned armored opossums. I had aardvark, which I knew was wrong, and I had amarillo, the Spanish word for yellow in my head. So close, yet so far.

When I finally solved the armadillo mystery I found myself at an obstacle I did not want to cross. The road had a lake in the middle of it with a wide enough inlet and outlet that I would be getting my feet wet to pass. Armed with a map I knew of an alternate route assuming that one wasn't flooded. As I stood there weighing my options I felt a bug on my leg so I swatted at it. It was still there so I took a closer look.

Shit! A tick!

An even closer inspection found a white dot in the middle of its back. I know this little fucker from his mugshot on line. He's a lone star tick, and he isn't known to give you Lyme disease. No, he gives you a red meat allergy. What's worse? This guy has friends. Lots of friends! I flick a few more off as I not only curse in my head, but I become vocal. Almost all come off with a hit, but two have already started feasting.

I have a tick key. A key chain attachment that easily removes ticks fully intact. I had become lazy about carrying it on runs and today I pay for it. I remembered a trick of using baby oil to drown the tick so it has to release its bite for survival. I didn't have baby oil, but I made a dam with my hand and spit water in to drown the damn lone star piece of shit. It seemed to work. Ten seconds of drowning and the tick wiped away. I tried the same trick with number two and another success!

We closed out our run and now it was time for a chance to play where does Minnie have ticks! Any guesses?? Yes, correct! Everywhere!!! I started pulling these things out of between toes, behind pads, under collar, by every joint on her legs, and even her armpits! What a nightmare. I can't help but get phantom itches and have to scratch my legs as I type this.

I was pissed at these woods. Goethe State Forest had let me down and I wanted to just get away... But it was going to be a clear night for some after hours photography. Dammit, as much as I wanted to leave in protest, I decided to bum around for the night Goethe... But I'm hiding out in the van as much as possible.

I found a dirt road called Wolf Run and pulled down looking for an out of the way place to set up for the night. With much consideration given to not having to call for a tow the next morning, I landed on just parking in an intersection. I left enough room for vehicles to pass, but kind of went on the assumption this road didn't see much night use. I saw one vehicle before I slept, and the GoPro did not show any headlights throughout the night.

I even hopped out to do some shots with the Nikon. I found either a couple sly ticks that avoided earlier capture, or maybe they came in while I was doing my photography thing. I murdered the ones I could find and left their bodies on the running board for any piece of shit ticks brave enough to enter the 'Van of Tick Death'.

I beelined for a Walmart the next morning to stock up on tick murdering chemicals to add to my arsenal. I'm willing to acquiesce that I caught Goethe State Forest on a bad part of the season, but I kind of feel like that first experience may have been bad enough to convince me to drive on by next time. (Not that I drive by all that often. So even though the ticks were pretty small, they dominated the day. I'm pretty happy with the pictures I captured, and the spring fed pond helped keep the run from feeling like a total failure. Also, as I write this, it is May 1st and Jeff will be leaving work for the last time today. Godspeed in retirement Jeff, may you never trick anyone into venturing into tick infested forests again!

Experiences

Goethe State Forest